FMA BLOOPERS
by cutemonic fox
Summary: Read FMA worst moments Roy burns Hughes, Hughes has a fight with Gracia, Havoc's hates to smoke, Roy's true hair color is blond? and some others too! chapter 4: Riza hangs Roy....by his legs?
1. Chapter 1

**FMA BLOOPERS**

**CHAPTER 1**

**BLOOPER 1:**

Havoc walks in Roy's office

"Yes Havoc" says Roy

"Well Colonel Mustang I-I want to say that- Hahhahahahhahahahhahah!"

Roy stares blankly at him

"What the hell is that on your head? Hahahhahhaha!"

"My hair? Well, the producers thought black hair on me would be better, instead of my natural Blond"

"Well you look f #cked up! hahahahahahha"

**SCENE TWO **

Havoc walks in Roy's office

"Yes Havoc" says Roy

"Well-well, hahahahahahahahahhahahah! I'm sorry Roy I just can't imagine you in black hair! Dear god my ribs!"

**SCENE THREE**

Havoc walks in Roy's office

"Yes Havoc" says Roy

"Well Colonel Mustang, me, Fuery, Breda, and Falman need to talk to you." All of the subordinates walked in order, training from academy clearly stuck to them so well that it is second nature.

"why won't you open your eyes?" chuckled Roy, hiding his smirk from Falman

"That's what I want to know!" laughs Havoc

"Well the producers said they at least need one character that has straight lines for eyes," sighed Falman.

"Well can you see?" asks Roy

"Honestly, sir, I can't see shit."

**BLOOPER 2:**

Envy turns into Gracia "Would you like this body form instead?" Hughes falters and is stunned by confusion, this isn't Gracia! This isn't HIS Gracia, but damn it looks just like his spouse.

Envy inwardly laughed at his evident weakness, _humans_ he inwardly scoff.

Without hesitation he shoots Hughes.

Hughes quickly hits the ground "JESUS CHRIST! That f#cken hurt !You shot on the wrong side you bastard! you we're supposed to shoot on the right side where there was protected padding you d#ck!"

"Whoa, someone has attitude" Envy says playfully

"Rubber bullets hurt! Defiantly up close! Would you like to get shot then! Here I'll do it for you!"

"Calm down Hughes," says the director "Let's just shoot that part again, and Envy shoot on the right side this time"

"No way, I don't do two takes, I'm going to my trailer!" yelled Hughes

(WEEK AFTER)

Hughes bust into the director's office "What the hell is this, I saw yesterday's episode and I died?"

"Well Envy did shoot you on the left side were your heart is, and if anybody gets shot in the heart of course there going to die. See, if you did the take again then maybe you would be still alive"

**BLOOPER 3:**

"OK, Havoc you'll have too-"

Havoc spits out his cigarette and starts to cough

"What wrong Havoc?"

"I'm tired of my character always smoking its making me ill; I'm not a smoker, I'm going to be the first anime character with lung cancer!"

"Well it's in the script Hav-"

"And stop calling me Havoc! My name James Curtis! I'm tired of all of this, all this smoking is destroying my sexiness!" he whined.

**BLOOPER 4:**

Roy is facing Edward in a arena outside the military grounds, many military personnel lined up around the circle. Screaming like an angry mob but cheering as if this was the best sport witnessed in history.

"Ready..set..GO!" yells Hughes

Roy snaps his fingers

"You we're supposed to run you idiot!" Ed yelled at Hughes

"YAAAAA! IT BURNS! STOP DROP AND ROLL!" Hughes starts to roll on the ground until the fire goes out

Roy stares at the still body, "umm, maybe we should re-take that shot." suggested Roy

"NO! IO HAD ENOUGH OF BEING A TARGET! FIND STUNT DOUBLE BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING THIS!" yelled Hughes, as he walked away

"Ummm?"

"Don't worry we'll find another one" says the director

**BLOOPER 5:**

Hughes is suffocating Roy's pupils with a picture of his offspring "Isn't she cute!" squeals Hughes

"Hughes!" cringed Roy

"I know I'm adorable!" says Elysia

"Um, my little sunshine of cuteness you're not in this scene" Hughes mentions

"I know, but since I'm rarely seen on the series, I decided to come in myself"

"But that's why I,m showing my pictures to everybody, sweetness" Hughes gave a smile that only a deranged pit bull could love

"Well, I really don't get paid that much as a child star, I decided to come in anytime I want"

"Listen you little brat, you're not in this scene!" He lashed, breaking character.

"Don't you talk to my daughter like that!" yelled Gracia

"I could care less about your daughter, I don't know why the producer put this brat as my daughter, she doesn't even look like me!"

"Shut up! I don't know why either; you're a jerk!" screamed Gracia

"Nice kid, did you ever find out who the father was?" Snapped Hughes, "I don't even like this kid!"

Hughes and Gracia were going at each others throats.

"Ummm, there is no way we're going to be able to get through this episode without mistakes are we?" questioned Roy.

"Nope" sighed the director.

BLOOPERS! Equals love


	2. Chapter 2

**FMA BLOOPERS**

**CHAPTER 2**

**agent000 Your wish has been granted!**

**BLOOPER 6:**

**I do not take credit for blooper 6!**

Roy, Ed,Al, and the rest of his subordinates (excluding Havoc & Fury) are watching lieutenant Ross flirting with a man with a golden beard and hair.

"Huh, hey brother that guy looks familiar?" says Al.

Al sees that is not even near him but charging towards the flirting figure with unimaginable rage. Ed then punches the manly figure with his metal fist knocking him to the ground.

"Ah shit! What the hell is your problem, Ed? I raised you better than that!" Yells Hohemheim.

"Uhh, "dad" you're messing up the script you're just supposed to take the punch you punk!"says Ed

"You know what, I can't work under these conditions; this short dwarf is really pissing me off!"

Roy then slides into the scene with his hands in his sleeves and looking dark and mysterious.

"Hohemheim, use the force." says Roy.

"The force?" questions Hohemheim.

"The FORCE." says Roy.

Hohemheim then pulls off his belt from around his waist AND says "THE FORCE!"

"W-wait hold on what ARE you doing! You can't do that you're an actor not my real daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

Hohemheim then starts to beat the hell out of Ed, while he's screaming in pain Roy is laughing hysterically as he watches on the side with a bucket of popcorn.

Al then runs off set as Hohemheim chases after him full of blind fury.

"Wait please I didn't do any thing! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" screams Al.

"Take off your head Alphonse!" demands Hohemheim.

Al then takes it off full of fear and Hohemheim climbs inside and focuses on Al's blood seal.

Hohemheim then beats Al's blood seal screaming, "How dare you let your stupid, bad acting brother touch my beautiful face you stupid f#ck!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY SOUL IT BURNS WITH THE GREAT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!"

"Oh God give me strength," the director desperately prays.

**BLOOPER 7:**

"Brother, if homunculus are made from a failed transmutation that means-" Al looked at Ed, but saw he was doing something else instead of playing his part "Brother what are you doing?"

Ed ignored him, "Sooooooooooo Trisha's your name huh?"

"Yes it is" giggled Trisha, "but right now my name is 'Sloth'".

"Oh no baby, I get it, I get it. 'Sloth' my name is 'Ed' lets make a baby and name him 'sled'" Ed flirted

"Brother that's just wrong!".

"Shut up! And stop calling me brother your not even my real brother and she's not our real mother!"

"I know that! Its just your 15 and she's what? 45!".

"For the last damn time! I'm 25! I just have a 15 year old body, damn! She's not 45 she's actually 30 years old so back off!" Sloth looked at Ed and slipped him her phone number "call me" she whispered then turned and walked away.

"HELL YES. I'M GETTIN ME SOME ASS, I'M GETTIN ME SOME ASS, I'M GETTING ME SOME ASS!" Ed sung.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING EDWARD?" yelled Lust.

"Shit". Ed froze

"Are flirtin with other women?" accused Lust

"Of course not baby you know me it's your baby boo, Edward" he rebuttals smoothly, "and your my only green beautiful flower".

"Alright"smiled Lust "you'll be home tonight right, baby?".

"I'm going to be kinda late, so I'll see you in the morning".

"Alright" sighed Lust.

**BLOOPER 8:**

Envy and Ed are facing off with each other in Laboratory Five; Envy was winning.

"BE STILL!" yelled Ed, but Envy kept dodging him.

"Man f#ck this!" he screamed, Ed lodged his foot right between Envy's leg

"AWWW F#CK!" yelled Envy "YOU KICKED ME IN MY GOT DAMN B#LLS!" Envy falls to his knees. "YOU PIECE OF RAT SHIT! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"You have nuts?" Ed inquired, genuinely confused at this "new" discovery.

"Got damn it, Ed! I've told you already I'm a guy! We've been working together for what, two years!" Envy screamed, curling up into a ball on the floor.

"Calm down Envy, lets go to the next scene then," sighed the director.

"NO! We're going to do this scene again! Just give me some ice and I'll be ready in ten minutes" says Envy, as he squirms away on his stomach.

**TAKE TWO**

Envy was very stealth ready to charge at Edward "I'm getting' my revenge" sneered Envy. Edward was scared out of his mind, as soon as the director sad 'action' he started to run the opposite direction.

"CUT! JESUS! CUT!" Screamed the director, fed up.

"where in the hell are you going SHORT ASS!" taunted Envy. He flipped and landed in front of Ed.

"oh shi-".

Envy lifted his foot in the back as far as possible and kicked Edward between the legs, sending him flying in to the stages background. Ed fell on his back Red-faced, biting his lip, and his hands latched in between his legs. The pain was so unbearable that his face was stuck and all you could hear was "uuuh...uhhh"

"If you two are going to keep doing this we're going to find replacement actors".

"NO!" Envy yelled.

"uuuhhhhh" Ed protested.

**BLOOPER 9:**

"You did it brother!You got my old body back!" yelled Al happily.

"Yeah! bout damn time too! If this didn't work I was going to give-...oh damn"

"Whats wrong Ed, what happ-...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!"

"ummmm"

"Why am I in a womens body? Ed you better fix this; You did the transmutation wrong!"

"Well you gotta admit that body does make you look sexy. Well, I like the the body at least" Ed did a 180 degrees tilt with his head.

"Yeah this body does have a good set of racks on it doesn-...STOP TRYING TO DISRACT ME!"

"I wasn't"

"Fix me now, Edward!"

"You know" Ed did this hiss of disappointment,"Actually, its my lunch break slash coffee break, so I'll change you back later"

"No! Comeback here! UGHH! YOU KNOW THAT COFFEE YOU DRANK THIS MORNING? YEA, THAT WASN'T CREAM!" he yelled.

**BlOOPER 10:**

Ed is facing off with Scar "Die state alchemist!" yelled Scar, he came charging.

"Not if I can help it!" Ed smirked angrily; he clapped his hands together and slammed them on the ground.

"darn it!" yelled Scar. A pipeline had raised up from under the city "It's time to get soaked and wet!" screamed Ed, he clapped his hands once more and water started to gush out, hitting scar dramatically.

Scar fell to the ground, and looked at his arm with the markings on it "Damn they said this tattoo wasn't washable!"


	3. Chapter 3

**FMA BLOOPERS**

**CHAPTER 3**

**BLOOPER 11:**

Ed is laying against the pole at laboratory five after facing off with the two brothers in the suit of armor. Ed is now trying to find out information from the older brother, since he has successfully defeated them both.

"OK, what the they plan on doing is-" The metal head on the body abruptly stopped when a long talon went through his seal making him mute forever.

Ed looked in shock at a women with a dark green dress and the face of dark goddess " I'm glad I came in time, or our little secret would've been reveled " she purred.

"Yeah we would want the little fullmetal shr-" Envy fell face forward to the ground "GOT DAMN IT! Who put a this rock in the way?" he yelled.

"Uggh Envy you always ruin everything! God your useless!" yelled Lust.

"That's not what you said last night" attacked Envy.

Lust blushed "SHUT UP! You promise you wouldn't tell!" she screamed.

"Shut up slut!".

"WHAT WAS THAT?".

"You heard me you look like a damn slut!" Envy turns into Lust "ooo look I'm lust my hair always overlaps my face, and my breast are bigger than my damn head!" he moves his hips.

"Gggggr you piece of-".

"I never wear a bra! I always want them to hang out! I'M A WHORE!".

"DAMN IT ALL ENVY!".

"Wait! did I say whore? I meant prostitute!" he screamed.

Lust threw the metal head at Envy.

"Damn! That hurt you bitch!".

"Oooo look I'm Envy I look like a damn hoochie and FAGGOT because I were a miniskirt! But secretly I'm trying to attract Mustang, and if I cant have him I'll take Ed even though he's my HALF- BROTHER!" she teased.

"I'm sorry but I find that faggot comment offensive" Ed butted in.

They both glared at him "MAN UP!"

They continued

"YOU TAKING FROM THE BACK!" Lust screamed

" You little-" Envy attacks Lust.

"Whoa" says Ed

Envy was still in the form of Lust.

"Alright! Cut! Cut!Cut!" yelled the director.

**BLOOPER 12:**

The military people were standing over the now destroyed sewer where Scar had escaped. "Well I guess we should go in," says Havoc in a sarcastic tone.

Havoc sat there for awhile waiting for a response, but no response. Havoc looks at Roy "Roy that's your-" Havoc was cut off when he saw Roy chewing on something.

" damn this is good" whispers Roy.

" Are you eating a Mc Griddle from McDonalds?".

"So what of it?" says Roy, as he pulls out a cup and started to drink out of it.

"And is that coffee from McDonalds? There's no McDonalds in the 1910's!".

"Man, I didn't eat anything on the way to this set. I'm hungry!".

He kept chewing.

"Excuse me sir?" says Riza.

Roy quickly discards the food on the ground.

"H-hi Riza" Roy was always scared of Riza, on and off the set.

"What is that?" She asked.

"What was what? I didn't see anything!".

"That wrapper on the ground" Riza picked up the discarded product "Roy!".

"Oh no".

"Were you eating this this chicken biscuit?".

"No it was a McGriddle...Crap".

"There is no Mca D's in the 1900s Roy!".

'Thats what I told him!" says Havoc.

"But I was hungry!".

"Well if your going to eat something bring enough for everyone!" she yells.

"Yes ma'am!".

Riza walks away.

"She is a scary women" says Havoc.

"Amen to that!" says Roy, as he starts to take sips from his coffee.

Riza comes back up to Roy and takes his coffee, and walks away again.

"Man she won't let me have anything!"

**BLOOPER 13:**

Hughes is talking to Winry, giving her words of wisdom at Elysia's birthday party. He picks up Elysia "and one day you will-" Hughes slams Elysia on the ground making her shriek in pain "JESUS CHRIST! Damn you stank! Did you fart on the way up here?" he yelled.

"Don't dare slam my daughter on the ground like that!" screams Gracia.

"Well maybe she didn't smell like horse shit then maybe I wouldn't have slammed her on the ground! She needs to meet my two friends soap and water! There very useful in these predicaments!" He snapped.

"We were in a hurry to get to this set!".

"Well you could've gone through the car wash!"

Winry smelled a weird smell and scoots her chair back.

"SEE? Even she smells it!".

"Whatever! Your such jerk!".

"Thats not what you said three weeks ago!".

"Gasp! You better not talk abou that!".

"Yeah sure lets talk about **that**!" Hughes bends down to Elysia "Hey Elysia I bet you dodnt know I tapped your mom's ass three weeks ago did'cha!".

"Mommy?".

"Yeah just say your mom is a real freak monkey!".

"Dont talk about that in front of daughter!" she screamed.

"Oh yeah another thing, your child is too damn spoiled she needs-" Hughes pulled off his belt "discipline" he smirked.

At the sign of the belt Elysia dashed.

"Comeback here!" Hughes started to run after her swinging his leather left and right hitting the party goers in the face, even the kids".

"Dont you dare his my child!" yelled Gracia, as she ran after them.

**(THE NEXT DAY)**

"Hughes, get in here now!" yelled the director.

Hughes walks in "what's up".

"Hughes! What the hell is your problem?".

"What?"

The director slams a folder on the desk "Do you know what this is?" she yelled.

"A really thick folder?"

"These are lawsuits, Hughes!"

"Wow."

" 'WOW' indeed! Forty parents sued us today Hughes! You-you know what? I'm just going to kill you off in one of the episodes!".

"No I'm one of the favorites!"

"I don't care! I'm killing you in one of the future episodes!"

"But!"

"No buts!"

**BLOOPER 14:**

Fuery is driven one of their vehicles to a case, while Roy, Riza, Breda, and Havoc were sitting in the back, they hit a bump on the road.

"Crap!" yells Fuery.

"What is it Fuery?" ask Roy.

"I lost my glasses" Fuery reaches at the bottom of the vehicle. The car starts to swerve left and right "aagh! I can't find them!".

"Agggh! Fuery find your glasses!" Roy is hanging on the side of the door.

Everybody started to panic and screaming 'Fury you kill me I'll kill you' or 'I don't want to die'.

After a long five minutes of panicking, hitting speed bumps, and running camera's off the streets, Fuery finally found his glasses "ok guys I found them!". The car was about to fall in the water.

" cough cough wheeze" coughs Riza.

Roy was slapping his chest trying to make his heart beat again "dang Fuery!" he seemed to get out.

Breda was on the ground; almost under the seats.

"Are you guys...O MY GOD! HAVOC!" Fury looked in shock as he saw Havoc was bleeding from the side of his head.

"OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!".

"No really it's not" reassured Roy.

"How is it not my fault?" yelled FuEry.

"He shot himself in the head as soon as he found out you lost your glasses. I guess he wanted to be responsible for his own death instead of you being responsible for it. Too bad he doesn't know we lived after all".

**BLOOPER 15:**

Havoc is sitting there phased after getting dumped by Armstrong's sister.

"He's not moving" whispers Breda.

"Don't worry, I know how to snap him out of it" says Fury goes up to Havoc and pulls out his cigarette.

"What the hell?" Havoc snatches his smoke back "LISTEN! Your ass don't need to be touching my fuckin cigarette! You got that or I'll slap those coke bottle glasses off your damn head!" Havoc goes back to his trance.

"Damn" says Falman.

"That hurt" says Fury.


	4. Chapter 4

**FMA BLOOPERS**

**CHAPTER 4**

**Mingchao: Your wish has been granted! **

**BLOOPER 16: **

Envy had Al in his captivity, trapped in his room, with no escape. Poor Al, tied up on the floor unable to use his alchemy. "You'll never get away with this."

Envy chuckled, "Oh we've already have, we just need your body"

"I hope you know you're being deceived by Dante. She's using you"

"I am aware she is using me, but I don't care. Just knowing how many defenseless innocent humans I'm able to kill makes it all worth WHO-" before Envy could finish his sentence there was abrupt sound of the door slamming open.

"ENVY WHERE THE HELL IS MY PURSE?" yelled Lust.

"Ugh! How the f #ck should, I know! Maybe you left it at your second job! The strip club!"

"Oh really, we're really going to do this again?" The director jaded to somebody beside her.

"No I did not! I checked! You are always stealing things from me! If you wanted some make-up I would have been happy to oblige!" she yelled angrily.

"For the last time you bitch, I am not gay!"

"Cut! Cut! Cut!" screamed the director, "I don't get paid enough to do this." She mumbled, "Envy go help Lust find her purse please?"

"If it makes her shut up," she mumbled rudely.

Lust and Envy both left.

"But we have to finish this scene ma'am the episode is tonight!" yelled a cinematographer

"Well you can't actually finish when the cast argues like this, then they'll mess up the whole episode. Just wait, I'll give them fifteen minutes, if they don't come in fifteen minutes I'll go find them"

**Thirty minutes later**

"Ugh! It has been friggin' thirty minutes! I'll go find them!" the director yelled. She traveled down the bushes of doors, until she heard the spring of a bed from one of them. The director bust in the door "ITS BEEN THIRTY MINUTES FREAK THE PURSE WE HAVE A SCENE-" she widen her eye's in shock.

"Will you please close the door? We're not finish yet," says Lust.

"I would appreciate that myself," says Envy.

"...s-sure" she quickly slammed the door and ran down the hallway

"What's up with her?" asked Lust

"Yeah, she's act like she never had sex before," replies Envy

"So did you find them?" asked a cinematographer

She shook her head up in down. "Let's skip to the next scene"

"But the episode is ton-"

"I AM AWARE OF THAT! LETS SKIP TO NEXT FREAKIN' SCENE!" the director roared.

"...I just missed something. Did something happen while you were gone?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

BLOOPER 17:

Ed past the test with excellence and was sitting in Roy's office waiting for his state alchemist watch. "Congrats you're finally a dog of the military," says Roy, as he threw the watch towards Edward, but Ed did not attempt to catch it.

"Um Ed hello!" yelled Mustang "what the hell are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, my bad I was just reading this week's top topic on News weekly magazine! In addition, guess what we are one of the top topics! Look!" He gestured.

"Hold on! Cut!" commanded the director "Ed let me see that please," she asked kindly. Ed passed the magazine to the director "Full metal alchemist is one of the well-thought out, suspenseful, and hilariously entertaining show made in this century ever! Kids, anime lovers, and maybe even adults would enjoy this wonderfully done show! One of the top ratings on adult swim Let alone history of adult swim, next to Family guy! We are all joyfully happy that this show came in existence! Arakawa Hiromu does an excellent job directing the whole thing! We thank her for thinking up this wonderful idea for everyone to enjoy!" she finished.

"Well that was an excellent review" Arakawa smiled, but then her eyes trailed down to the bottom of the page "Things you watchers didn't know about the FMA characters," she said.

"Let me see that!" Edward snatched the magazine out the directors hand he read "Edward Elric, is known as shrimp, short, gnome, midget, and so many other insulting short jokes. What you people might not know when the cameras are off and when it's time to go home he has a second job, and he-" Ed stopped and his eye's went wide "you know what? This stupid magazine is not important doing this show is! So let's just get back to taping sh-"

Roy snatched the magazine out his hand, and his eyes started to read the rest "Let's see what you have to hide...Edward?" Roy stood for a minute, but he soon started to laugh loud.

"What does it say?" asks Riza

"I-it says he works at a...haha! A GAY bar!" he continued to spit out between laughs

"Ed...?" Havoc paused

Ed got teary-eyed "SHUT UP!" He snatched the magazine out of Roy's hand and stated to read violently. "ROY MUSTANG! Known as the FLAME, A suitable nonetheless perfect name for this handsome enterprising person, when we say flame we mean that Roy Mustang the supposedly straight women dater likes to actually cross dress after work. We also found he's having an affair with are little own Fuery."

There was a disturbing silence by everyone else, instead of Ed "That is MUCH worse than the dirt they got on me!"

"Shut up shrimp! Don't make me have to force you up pole outside!"

"Shut up asshole!" Edward screamed.

Riza snatched the magazine to read her own profile "Riza Hawkeye is the trusty side-kick of Roy Mustang; she's the one to keep him going. As you might not know she works at a- That is not true!" she screeched. "I DO NOT work at a lesbian bar, Maybe Ross But not me those bastards!"

"I was kind of skeptical about you Riza at first," says the director. Riza stares daggers at her. Havoc takes the magazine "what does it say about me?" he read with his eye "phew I already establish I don't like smoking. Nothing too bad, and for Hughes it says he doesn't like his kid and we all know that...Hey!"

"Hey what?" asks Ed

"It says thanks for the tips we've got on this characters! Ladies and gentlemen we have a spy in our mist," he announces.

"Who the hell would blackmail us like this?" yells Roy angrily, but then there was abrupt motion of something falling in the closet. The director walked over and opened the door " Breda?" she said in confusion "Why do you have a tape recorder, microphone and a-ooh"

Roy was the first to insult him "Oh you fat hoe...I will fucking' kill you!" he threatened, while cracking his fingers. The rest had joined we're going to teach you a little lesson in spying" smirks Ed evilly.

"Please! Understand I barely get any money, because I barely come on any episodes! Please! You mus- NOOOOO!"

"Uhh guys don't rough him up too much because I need him a future episode," says Arakawa.

BLOOPER 18:

Today is the day when Ed and Al are trying to revive their mom "Your ready Al?"

"I guess brother"

They both land their hands softly on the transmutation circle a huge light had emitted from the ground, Ed had a smile at first but then his face soon scorned, not that the transmutation was going wrong, is that three employers were walking across the set laughing and drinking coffee.

"Move!" yelled Ed, but his warning went unheard.

"Oh yeah I saw yesterday's Yo mama did you se...? Hey George what's up with your arm?"

"Huh? Hey, what is up with this? Stop!"

They all were sucked in the circle, excluding Ed and Al because they fled the stage so did a lot more people. "Please somebody! Anybody! Save us!"

Before another word was yelled, all three had swirled in the vortex of pain. The two small kids we're shaking behind the director "you didn't say that was going to happen to us!"

"Uh well hehe! Let us shoot it again people! Forget what just happened! We can get more!"

"Oh no! Kiss my baby soft butt!" screamed Ed "Arakawa you are crazy and stupid to use us!"'

"No you don't understand we're using stunt doubles"

"Oh...I guess that's alright," says Al

"Alright then let's shoot once again!"

TAKE TWO

The light emits form the ground and starts to swirl, slowly Al was being sucked "alright call in the stunt doubles!" screamed Ed. The director just smiled "there aren't any!"

"What? Oooh...I hate you so—AAGH! MY ARM!"

"Keep rolling! Hopefully it comes out liked I planned!" she yelled.

BLOOPER 19:

Roy was sitting on his office working, as usual. Riza busted in, "uh hello Lieutenant Hawkeye what's your news you have to share?"

"Where's my money!" she exclaimed

"Money?"

"Don't play stupid with me! Where's my money?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Riza!"

"Wrong answer!"

Havoc walked in with some profile in his hand "Um Colonel you have so- JESUS CHRIST! RIZA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Havoc.

Riza was hanging Roy outside the window by his feet "give me my money! I won't tell you again!"

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Roy screamed high pitch tone

"Riza wrong movie!" says Havoc

"Huh? What are you talkin-this isn't a try outs for..."

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Oh...my bad...Colonel you still alive?"

Roy eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was foaming from the mouth. "Oh jeez! Havoc goes call the hospital!"

**BLOOPER 20:**

"Alright ten minutes until curtain time!" yelled a person

Roy was sitting in his room rubbing his head, when Hughes walked in "what's wrong Mustang?" he asked. "I have a massive headache," he groaned.

"Oh here!" he took a bottle out his pocket and handed it to Roy "this helps out headaches I used it last week only takes a few seconds"

"Alright" says Roy, as he popped the pill in his mouth and drunk some water with it "alright let me get out there" grunted Roy.

"That's what I'm talking about, get out there!" encouraged Hughes

**TAKE ONE**

It's been three years since Ed's been in central; the last time he was there he was twelve, but now he is fifteen and is having talk alone in Roy's office.

"You have something to say Mustang? Then say it!"

Roy gazed at his hands "Oh my god...I have five fingers" he gasped.

"Uhh, hello!"

"Hm? Oh! Hi Edward! Didn't know you we're here!" Roy shot up out of his chair "you know I have admired you for quiet sometimes my little shrimpy alchemist," he purred, while sitting on the couch next to him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A FREACKIN' CRUMB COULD SQUISH ME HUH?" he said angrily.

"I love it when get mad. It-it's so SEXY!"

"What...the...FUCK!" Ed exclaimed

"Oh god this couch it's so soft! It feels so good! Perfect for an all nighter" he cooed. Ed eye started to twitch; Roy rubbed his head on Ed's "Aww! Your hair is so soft and your face" Roy started to rub his face "It's so smooth h-how you doing that?"

"Get your hands off of me!"

"Everything so wonderful!" Roy started to squirm down the couch. "And it's hot! Damn it's hot!" Roy started to strip on the ground "this shirt needs to go" he stripped is shirt off "is still hot!" he started stripping his pants.

"AAAHH! Security! Security! Somebody stop him!" screamed Ed. The security come and picks Roy up "Oh my god you guys smell so good! And I want to say thanks for protecting us all these years, even though you don't get paid that much!" he laughed.

"What's wrong with him?" mumbles Hughes, as he reached into his pocket "Oh jeez!" he yelled.

"Hughes what did you do?" sighed the director.

"Well Roy had a headache and I meant to give him medicine, but I gave him the wrong thing and-"

"What did you give him?" she said in frustration.

"Ecstasy."


End file.
